That Old Familiar Ache

April 27, 2017

Tomorrow marks the last time we were together as a couple.
If I had known it was the last time I would see him as his girlfriend would I have done anything differently? Would I have hugged him tighter, or kissed him goodbye with more than just a hurt, half-hearted kiss? Would I have just ended things then and there myself, knowing the hell I spent between then and a month later when we finally broke up?

Would this last year have been any easier if I had done any of those things? No.

I still would have felt the anguish that came with being apart. I would have still cried myself to sleep so many nights. The emptiness that nothing could fill would have still haunted me night and day.
The thing about really, truly loving someone with every bit of your heart, and letting all your walls matter how things end, the pain of missing them is the same.

Sometimes, when you come out of all that hurt and anger and chaos, you find that after everything you still love the person who hurt you.

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