Here's a new way I can sing the blues...

May 29, 2017

I wish I had woken up next to you today. I wish I had opened my eyes, and the first thing I saw was the light shining in through my bedroom window onto that face that is so dear to me. The face I never stop dreaming about. There's not a freckle I don't know by heart. Every line and scar telling a story of love and loss, the joys and sadnesses you've had to bare. Way too many of the latter. 

I wish you had been there for me to reach over and kiss awake. To feel the stubble on your cheeks against my palms. The warmth of you chasing away the coldness I feel too often, both inside and out. 

I wish I could have made you breakfast. There are hashbrowns, eggs fresh from my beloved chickens, and biscuits sitting in my refrigerator. I don't have the heart to make them just for me. Sitting down at my table to a breakfast alone. 

I wish you had been here, and that I could have made you smile. There's never been anything too outrageous for me to say in an attempt to elicit a laugh from you. The times I've successfully made you laugh have always been some of my most cherished accomplishments. The sound, the look on your face when you genuinely laugh with me, it brings my heart back to life. 

I wish you had been here when I woke up today, and I wish you were here now. And I find that I don't know what to do with myself in this dark, hollow absence of you.

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