I'm Done Being Love's Fool

May 17, 2017

I'm ready for some goddamn changes, y'all.

In less than a week, I will have been, officially (...long story full of bullshit), single for a year. In that time, I've had a lot of fun. Fun that I will always look back on with immense fondness. Fondness and a whole lot of lustful, panty melting, body-shaking flashbacks (sweet baby raptor Jesus on garlic naan bread, so damn hot). That time (with great regret) has come to an end, and I think I'm ready to move on and start dating again. HOWEVER, I know that I can not and will not go about it the way I have in the past. Changes must be made and adhered to...because Miss Diane didn't raise no fool, and it's high time I stopped acting like a fool when it comes to my love life.

First of all, I'm not chasing no-goddamn-body. I might power walk for Tom Hiddleston, but that's it. Any of you fuckers out there who like to ignore people/play hard to get/ghost/keep people on 'standby' while you woo someone else. Fuck. The. Fuck. Off. This woman right here isn't going to wait around for you to make up your ever loving mind about her. If you disappear, or act like my presence in your life is of no consequence...bye. There will be zero time spent 'waiting by the phone' (or the modern day equivalent, which is obsessively checking your cellphone), or crying into a pint of Ben & Jerry's wondering what *I* did wrong. In the past, I've sat around waiting on my crush/boyfriend to decide that they want to be with me/make me a priority. No more. If I'm showing interest and making an effort, but the other person isn't...I'm not waiting around for them to come to their senses.

Next, I'm not dating someone just because they want me to. You like me? Congratulations, you have excellent taste. That doesn't mean I have to date you...or give you my time in any way, unless I want to. Hottie McHotPants isn't required to show any interest whatsoever in me just because I want to eat veggie tacos off his naked body while riding him into the sunset, and I'm not required to go out with anyone just to be 'nice'. This includes people my friends want to fix me up with. I've had friends ask me to hang out with them, and then SURPRISE it's a blind date with them, their SO, and some guy. No. I will fucking end you...or our friendship at least. I've done it before, don't test me. When I say I'm not interested, leave it at that and stop pushing.

Finally, this should go without saying, but if you treat me like shit, I'm gone. There's too many people out there willing to treat my freckled ass like a Queen for me to waste one more minute on someone who uses me or treats me like I'm not important to them. I've had my fill of catering to the whims of narcissistic assholes. I treat the person I love like they are important to me, and try to make sure they know how cherished they are...I'm over settling for being treated like I'm insignificant and replaceable. My days of sitting around waiting for someone to appreciate what they have with me are over.

I don't have a huge ego, or think that I am perfect. Not in the least. Unfortunately, I have had a long history of dating disasters where I am perused to the point where I am all in with people who have taken me for granted, consistently lied, cheated, wooed me until I fell for them and then kept me at arms length, ignored me for extended periods of time only to show up months later wanting 'another go', and a bunch of other bullshit that too painful to talk about. The girl I was put up with a lot of bullshit that the woman I am now refuses to tolerate.

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  1. No one should ever put up with narcissistic assholes. Or any kind of assholes.
    Unfortunately, there's a prevalence of asshole, lately.