I'm Not Your Cup of Tea

May 08, 2017

"Why are you single? You're so amazing! Blah, blah, blah" ~ I've been hearing a lot of that over the last year. While it is nice to have people tell me how great they think I am, the question gets taxing after a while. So, let us address the matter and be done with it, okay?

I don't date just to date, and it takes a lot to interest me.
I'm not talking looks, money, possessions, or all of that other trivial bullshit.
I'm talking about seeing/feeling something truly special when I interact with someone. A genuine connection on a deeper level than most people operate at.

I suck at small talk.
Small talk is physically painful. I'd much rather have someone slowly shove needles under my nails than force myself to sit and engage in ultra restrained chit chat about the weather. Oh, you're supposed to put your best fake face on, and only talk about your extra special qualities on first dates? WHY? I'm not perfect and I'm not going to pretend I am. Hell, my first date with my ex, we basically threw all our bad cards on the table from the moment the 'date' started. I probably fell for him right then. The main thing that attracted me to my ex the most was the fact that we could sit and talk for hours. It never got boring. From politics to Star Wars to our past traumas, we would talk about absolutely everything. That's what I miss the most, the feeling of being able to sit and laugh until my side hurt, or sit and feel like I could tell him absolutely anything.

I require attention.
Half the world could be giving me their undivided attention, but I absolutely 100% do not give a sparkly, sunshiny damn unless I'm getting it from the one person I want attention from.
If you want to keep me interested, you better goddamn well pay attention to me. I don't need constant 24/7 in my face sonnets and declarations of undying love. I do, however, appreciate a little text or something to let me know that I'm on someone's mind. It's pretty obvious when I'm interested in someone, so if they make me feel like they've forgotten I exist...I will lose interest. I've spent too much time begging people to love me in the past, and I will not do it ever again.

I'm all out of patience.
I want what I want, and I want it now. I'm 37 years old. Are we doing this or not, because I have other things to do...and I need to fit you in between cuddling my chickens and the 3 hours of sleep I get every night.
If someone wants to be with me, and I've made it clear that I'm up for that, then be. with. me. Don't pussyfoot around, and act like you can't decide if you want to be with me or not. I will not wait. I can guarantee you that if someone does this to me, I will eventually lose all interest, and by the time they realize what a great thing I am...there will be no way in hell I'll ever be attracted to them again.

Social Goddamn Media.
If I see that someone spends a lot of time 'liking' all the photos of a bunch of different women, all the time, it's a turn off.

Honesty, Loyalty, Commitment.
I require all three. If someone can't be completely honest, 100% loyal, and completely committed to me, and only me, I'm not interested. I'm not interested in playing around, hanging out, or sharing. I have more than enough  people I can have casual escapades with. Not interested.

I'm a handful.
I can be intense. I've accepted that about myself. I like affection, and I like to feel wanted. I don't need anyone to buy me things, or take me out all the time. I do, however, need that emotional connection, support, and nurturing. Most people can't open themselves up enough to handle that.
To quote Anais Nin, I can only connect deeply or not at all. It's full throttle, or dead in the water. If you require an emotional kiddie pool, I'm not the girl for you.
I'm not easy to live with. I know this. I need affection almost as much as I need oxygen. My emotional intensity (and my need to explore it and talk about it) can be overwhelming. There are times when I can be needy...when I need to hear that I'm loved, and wanted, and that I'm the only one. Jealousy rears it's ugly head when I feel like special attention is being paid to another woman/other women.

I am NOT for everyone...and I'm not going to waste my time trying to be someone's weak cup of chamomile tea when I'm clearly champagne.


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2 comments

  1. heh
    What you said about yourself is close to what I would write about myself.
    Close.
    I do have sonnets, but they are not 24/7.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just read this and had to go check to make sure my girlfriend didn't write that. It fits her to a tee. And it pretty well describes why i like her. We are out there, men who like this sort of thing.

    ReplyDelete