May 19, 2017

Since moving into my own place I've noticed something: guys have no problem asking a single female living on her own (who doesn't know them personally) where she lives...and they don't seem to understand why she doesn't want to give them this information. Like, panties all up in a twist level of not comprehending why I'm selfish with my whereabouts.

Y'all don't really understand what it's like to be female, do you? You don't really understand how we have to constantly be on full red alert regarding our safety. How, when I'm walking alone to and from my car, I instinctively place my keys between my fingers so that I will have something to fight back with should someone grab me. How I don't feel comfortable going anywhere alone at night unless I have at least 1 female friend with me. How we are taught to always be aware of our surroundings so that we can, hopefully, protect ourselves from assault or abduction. BECAUSE GUESS WHOSE FAULT IT IS IF WE GET ASSAULTED? We ladies often bear the brunt of the blame. "What were you wearing?", "Why were you out alone after dark?", "Well, you shouldn't have been drinking.", and the victim blaming goes on...and on...and on.

So, imagine me, a 37 year old, single female with zero upper body strength, kinda tiny, living alone with my cat. Now imagine some random guy who is probably a lot stronger than me, and who I do.not.know personally asking me where I live. Also, know that my car is VERY recognizable...people ALWAYS see me, but I don't see them. Can you try to grasp why I would be very guarded with where I live (the place I'm supposed to be able to let my guard down and relax)?!?!? Does it penetrate your brain in even the slightest way that maybe I have to be selective with that kind of information...FOR MY GODDAMN SAFETY!!!???

Now, you may be a great human being, but then again you could be goddamn Ted Bundy...and my paranoid ass is going to always err on the side of extreme caution. So, a great guideline might be this: if you aren't a relative, an IRL friend (that I've hung out with on multiple occasions), or someone who has had their penis in me in the past (and we're on good terms), you probably shouldn't ask me where I live. If you do, and I look at you like you've lost your mind, or respond with a simple 'no', don't get your panties in a twist. My personal safety is much more important than your hurt feelings.

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