Errrybody Has Problems.

June 09, 2017

If you're anything like me, I'm sure you've had the phrase 'just be yourself' thrown at you a time or two in your life. My response is always along the lines of, 'How the sweet holy respectful fuck can I NOT be myself? I did not know that was an option! I can chose NOT to be this socially awkward, nerdy, opinionated, clumsy mess who absolutely cannot fucking stand being in crowds for an extended period of time?". I fucking hate lying, it's one of the few things that I can't forgive (or it takes a lot for me to get over it), and I just feel like not being my goddamn imperfect self is a form of lying.

Social media makes it easy to convince everyone who follows you that you have the most amazing, perfect life. You can present yourself any way that strikes your fancy, and unless someone knows you on a deep, intimate level you can usually succeed in pulling the wool over everyone's eyes. No one's life is perfect. Most of the time people are a dumpster fire trying to convince anyone who will listen that they are actually an exotic paradise with an open bar...or the white, suburban Alabama Kim and Kanye. It's all public relations. Errrybody has problems. I'm broke, tired, introverted, go through periods of depression, have social anxiety, I'm awkward, and I routinely want to slap the stupid out of my coworkers. I make decisions that people who are supposed to be my friends don't like. I hate going out most of the time. I act like a goddamn idiot very often just to get people to laugh. That's me. That's who I am. If someone doesn't like it, they can mosey on down to IReallyDon'tGiveAFuckville.

This mess is who I am...and I'm fucking done apologizing for it. You can think I'm a train wreck, that I'm an idiot who shouldn't be allowed to make her own decisions, or that I'm a cold, heartless bitch. I could not care less. It's usually the people who are so quick to judge others, and overly concern themselves with the decisions/lives of others that need to take a long hard look at their own lives...and shut their self-righteous, pretentious as fuck mouths.

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