The Broken Heart Rehabilitation Institute of Not Giving a Fuck

July 26, 2017

Science tells us that romantic love is basically an addiction.
When you're dumped, thoughts of your former beloved make your nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex light up like a Christmas tree. These areas of the brain are associated with motivation and reward, as well as craving and addiction. You see these areas fire up like crazy with addiction to cocaine and nicotine. They say, in order to move on, you have to break the addiction. Trouble is, there isn't a rehab facility that you can check yourself into that will help ween you off of this addiction. There's no one there teaching you that being cheated on and lied to was not your fault. No sponsor to keep you from reaching back out to (or accepting calls from) your drug of choice. Hopefully, there's a best friend like mine who will give you some straight talk by telling you she will castrate the fucker who broke your heart if he/she so much as looks in your direction.

The point is, breakups of any kind are hard. It is truly difficult to stop caring even when you've been horribly betrayed. I typically advocate the 'no contact' rule. Cut them out of your life completely. It doesn't have to be a mean thing. You just take time to learn to live without them. No talking, no texting, no meeting up, no social media at all. Just do you, give yourself time to come off the addiction, and (literally) rewire your brain back to some semblance of normal (for you).

I typically don't follow my own advice though, so what the fuck do I know?

I still care about most of the people I've been involved with in the past...but it's not in an 'OH MY GOD I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH THEM' kind of way. All except 2 of my former flames are my friends. They are 100% in the friend category where I care about their welfare and happiness, but I'm not in love with them. There are a couple that I consider friends that I still need to break that addiction to. One in particular.

For me, I guess I'm kind of lucky in that when that switch finally flips, it doesn't come back on. Once I finally rid myself of all the feelings for someone, they don't back. Ever. Unless something truly miraculous happens. If someone, through their actions, teaches me that I can live without them...if they use me and ignore me...eventually I'm going to get sick of the bullshit and BAM. Game Over.
If you don't get me while I still care, sorry, you've lost me. Forever.

There's only so much bullshit I'm willing to put up with.

If you want to be with me. Be with me. If you don't, leave me the fuck alone. I'm not going to chase after anyone, and beg them to love me. I'm not going to wait around while you're 'on the fence' about who you want to be with. I'm not going to waste my time on someone who isn't 100% sure about me. I've got too much to offer. I'm too goddamn glorious to be fucking around with people who don't appreciate what they have when they have it. I'm a neuroscience nerd. If you fuck me over long enough, I will use of all my tricks to completely reeducate my entire brain until I don't give a single speck of a good goddamn about you.

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